No Matter What

We all have plans for the years we get to spend on this earth, both for ourselves and for the families we hope to raise. Much to our dismay, life has a way of changing course without warning. As Christian parents traveling down the road of Good Christian Parent Dreams, we unexpectedly find ourselves at a standstill, having to merge onto a lane we did not choose.

In those moments, when the plan for our journey has been abruptly interrupted, we may have only a few options. We might drive on the shoulder to continue our trip at the pace we were originally journeying, or we may demand that Google Maps find an alternate route that won’t cause any extra time or stress. We had a destination in mind, and we are committed to getting there even if we are fueled by Bible verses in silent supplication or curse words in a raucous rant.

But what if God is the One behind the unforeseen change of plans, and what if our kids are not potholes but portals through which we will get to know Him more authentically? What if God stacked their choices and behaviors right smack in the middle of our windshield of vision because He wanted us to realize that our eyesight is not as clear and our desires not as holy as we thought?

What might it mean about Him, about us, and about our children if God has more profound priorities than creating another generation of Faith Professors who look pleasing to the eyes of others who don’t look too closely or ask too many questions? Is it possible that He wants His people to speak about Him less authoritatively and trust in Him more meditatively? To be less certain, less rigid, and more open to unexpected changes of plans?

Wendy Osborn, mother to three LGBTQ+ adult kids, mental health counselor, and former church planter in a conservative evangelical denomination, knows this story well. She neither planned for the roadblocks in the beautiful suburban avenue she was traversing, nor for the ways other Christians would fail her when the car she was driving crashed and burned.

In losing the things she most thought she couldn’t live without, Wendy collapsed in the arms of a mysterious and profoundly trustworthy God she had spent two and a half decades in a buttoned-up faith seeking. She now prefers to drive in wide open fields rather than submit to painted lanes on the parkway because she finds the air fresher, the sun brighter, and the Godhead more beautiful out here.